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Sunday, July 13, 2014
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Sarah Pal-
do we still have to report on her?

Why?
No one cares about an airhead who only finished half her term as governor of our least populated state...


Morgan Sent Back to Earth After Stabbing St. Peter in Chest

Tracy Morgan was welcomed into and then rejected by the Heavens after an incident Sunday.
"Sorry, I must have misapproximated the situation."

JS

The jackass driving me to LAX refuses to believe I'm not a bigtime Hollywood producer, and keeps trying to slip me his screenplay.
"It's sci-fi meets mockumentary with a touch of Goodfellas," said Chad, my Uber driver.
If I had to guess, Chad is a college drop-out living in someone's pool house. He said he was 28, but it looks like that 39-year-old kind of 28.
"But it's also a coming of age story."
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Macro Econ Grade Hinged on Jefferson Airplane Question

Other Headlines
Hackers Delete Post's Twitter Account
Kim Jong Un to Make 'Red October' Sequel
Dating Site Reinvigorates Four Out of Five Stalkers' Love Lives
Tim Cook Thinks He Bought Hip-Hop
Korean Air- 'We Don't Lose Our Planes'
Justin Bieber Caught Hunting Cuban Orphans on Miami Estate


You'd Look Even Prettier If You Smiled More at Work, Study Shows
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  Last Week's Biggest Story Classic Post
 
 

 

National News

America Finds the Limits of 3D

Morning After Post Keeps Plagerizing Our Stories
Drone Levels Suburb, Military Suspends 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'
'America's Got' Judges Unsure If They Want to See Casey Anthony's Talent
Adolecent Trying to Masterbate Through Heatwave Dies of Dehydration
Asshole Proud to Be First Streaker at Memorial
Splitscreen Interviews Make It All Debateable

Most Popular

IJI Apolo- DAMMIT! DID WE MAKE FUCKING ZOMBIES?

IJI Makes HIV Virus Gigantic, Airborne
Facebook to Stream Movies, Heroin
Lonely TSA Agent Wishes Someone Would Pat Her Down
Lone Gunman's Imaginary Friend Is an Even Bigger Asshole Than He Is
I'm Not Too Drunk to Write-up This Murder-Suicide
Palin Defeats Alien Invaders?
Congress Bails Out Christmas

 

QC-P

it

   

 

World News

Snoopy Balloon on Worldwide Killing Spree

Pepsico Agrees to Sponsor Syrian Conflict
Walmart Found to Be the End of ALL Civilizations
Pope- Sex with Post-Op 'Not Gay'
Bin Laden's Kirk Cameron Collection Sold on eBay
Egyptian Protesters Seize Stargate
FedEx Gets Iranian President Beheaded
Afghanistan Eager to Topple American Empire


 

  Classic Post

Fatal Accident Ends in Hilarity

Bert n Ernie Fired from Sesame Street
Bunnylike Creature Kills Five
Doubledown an Experiment in Suggestiblity
Snack Spray Killing Fatties
Bush to Send Flood Victims 'Huck Finn' Rafts
Is Flu Vaccine 'Homo-fying' Americans?
Drone Levels Chicago Suburb, Military Ends 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'
ABS Launches Vampire-Reality Series
(and IJI Accidentally Created Vampires)
SeaWatch

  UV



 

Business
Ford Offering Free Beautiful Detroit House with Purchase of Any 2012 Explorer
Bud Slams Miller for Nazi Ads
Pill Mix-up Causes Hyperboners
Chrysler, Starbucks Merge



VP Biden Ruins Costume Party

Chip Foxx Begrudgingly Endorses Mitt Romney
You Know You Still Need Bill

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Opinions
I Bet My High School Girlfriend Is Ready to Take Me Back, Now That She's a Widow

No One's Going to Read This
Big Weddings Legitimize Any Whore, Even My Cousin



Judges Unsure If They Want to See Casey Anthony's 'Talent'
'Top Fluffer' Setting Records for Viewership, Complaints

 
 

Post Special Editions
The Now-
Infamous
Leaked
'War'
Front
Page

The American Excellence Issue
The Halloween Edition
The Christmas Edition
Post 5th Anniversary Issue

Morning Star Gazette

Scranton Strangler Loses Another Victim

We Are Not Satanists!
In Upset, Bumbling Strangler Kills More Prolific Slasher
 
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