Thanks for Making Me a Defacto Rapist

I thought our date went really well, so I just wanted to thank you for rolling over this morning and asking, "So what'd we do last night?"
Really?
So you "blacked out" the sex we had, thus can't verify that you were even conscious for it, thus making me a defacto date rapist.
Thank you.
I thought I was a nice guy who would never take advantage of a girl who'd lost control of her own body.
But thanks to your chemically-selective amnesia, I no longer have a witness as to what we (I mean I) did while we were (I was) "alone" (with your body).
Funny, you seemed quite alert, even insistent at times.
What's that?
This has happened before?
I'll bet.
They say once you start blacking out while drinking, it takes less and less to make you black out.
You must have been a black-out drunk for a while, for three wine coolers to be able to erase your night.
I guess I should be thankful that you didn't wake up regretting last night, or I might be in real trouble.
What if I'd left while you were asleep, and you hadn't awoken to my smile?
If you'd woken up sticky, sore and confused, how long before I was in handcuffs?
I'd probably end up with a cellmate forcing me to do what you were yelling at me to do to you around 4 a.m.
I really do envy you and your ability to distance yourself from the things you do.
Unfortunately, I was born a man, and thus, I'm forced to take responsibility for all of my actions.
So I'm just going to head down to the Sheriff's office and register as a sex offender.
Again, thanks.