The White House stalled again today on answering what recommendations
from the Baker-Hamilton Report they would consider implementing in Iraq.
“Look,” a frustrated Tony Snow said at a press conference
Friday, “we probably would have initiated all of the Iraq Study
Group’s recommendations already if the liberal media hadn’t
already painted such a move as total admission that the president’s
Iraq policy had failed.”
Snow later retracted and apologized for that statement after consulting
his earpiece.
“What I meant to say was, the president is reviewing the ISG’s
input, along with many other sources, but hasn’t absorbed it all
yet.”
When asked by Post D.C. correspondent Shell Davis what the delay was,
Snow said, “Well, President Bush hasn’t finished reading
it yet. He, ah, keeps losing it.”
Snow refused to comment further on the issue.
Marie Richfield, 78, has been a White House residence housekeeper for
over 30 years.
"He's been screaming his head off about that report for weeks,"
Richfield said. "He can't hold onto a copy to save his life. I
don't see what the big deal is- he never used to read things."
According to Richfield, the President has had difficulty replacing the
controversial document.
"Cheney will drop off a copy and then Rice will swipe it,"
Richfield explained, "so Rove will bring one over and Cheney sticks
it in his briefcase, and Rice will march one in for Rove to grab. They've
got it down."
In Iraq, Prime Minister Nouri Maliki was informed that he didn’t
like the Baker-Hamilton report, either.
“Some of the 79 suggestions in this plan could seriously destabilize
the current Iraqi government, and possibly cause my head to become detached
from my neck.”
In his Sunday morning radio address, the president assured citizens
that the ISG report was not a repudiation of his conduct in Iraq.
“The Baker-Hamilton report says the same thing we’ve been
saying all along,” President Bush declared, “that we want
to win in Iraq.”
