by The Army of Truth
Corporate Sabotuers

Integrated Technologies, defense contractor and Post sister-company, insisted that a weekend fire at their headquarters in Hapsburg, Virginia, "must've been sabotage."
"There's no way this could have been incompetence, reckless experimentation or anything else that would invalidate our policy," I.T. spokesperson Derek White told press, stockholders and insurers Monday.
Integrated Tech is blaming the fire on the Army of Truth, a group of sabotuers that began at the Post and spread throughout other International Jones, Inc. subsidiaries.
While the FBI is still investigating competitors like Lockheed Martin and terrorist groups like al-Qeada, I.T. dismisses the possibility that an outside force could breach their security.
"This fire was definitely an inside job, and definitely intentional," said White.
The fire drew national attention because the I.T. facility was the construction site of Time Ship 1, the world's first* time machine, used in the Post's Temporal News Program.
I.T. wants to reassure the public that the time-travel research was never compromised.
"No one can build another time machine," said White. "The components are seperated and secured in multiple locations. Some are guarded by P.F. Jones himself."
IJI is pressuring the FBI to solve their Army of Truth problem.
"These criminals need to be stopped," said White.

Um... NO.
Hows about HELL NO.
It's true that we at the Army of Truth have sabotaged IJI propaganda, events and websites, however,
WE DID NOT ATTACK INTEGRATED TECHNOLOGIES.
THIS IS A COVER-UP.
While we didn't steal research or start any fires, we did breach I.T.'s security (it was frighteningly easy for a defense contractor) and found this alternate shot from their own security camera. (above)
As you can see, Chrone Osphere, IJI's nutty time traveler, was clearly paying them a visit.
That is, unless I.T. has more than one time machine.
Have fun explaining this one, Jones!