Disgruntled Tim Tebow Reportedly Starting Satanic Cult
by Trip SafetyABS Sports Guru
May 20, 2013
"God's burned me for the last time," said Tebow.
The formerly devout QB for the Denver Broncos and New York Jets has gone from praising Jesus to blaming him.
"Jesus dropped the ball- bigtime," he said.
Steve Tisch, Jets co-owner, acknowledges he's probably more responsible than God, Jesus or the Holy Ghost.
"Yeah, we pretty-much ruined his career," said Tisch, after benching Tebow for a season then releasing him.
"But who knows- maybe the Devil made us do it."
Tebow reportedly turned to the Dark Underlord after every NFL team, including the Cleveland Browns, opted not to pick up his contract.
"I mean, really?" asked Tebow.
He's formed a cult under the presumption that Satan desires his obedience.
"Satan hasn't gotten back to me yet, per se," said Tebow, "but I'm sure he'll call.
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