Wall Street Bankers Begin Buying, Selling Protesters
Post Manhattan Reporter
October 10, 2011
After six weeks of the "Occupy Wall Street" protests, corporate bankers and executives have begun buying and selling the youth demonstrators.
"They're really quite handy," said Murray Antwonette, an executive at Jones Acquisitions.
Antwonette came up with the idea after protesters began panhandling outside his building.
"He said he wouldn't give us handouts, but he would give us paying jobs," said Sandra Reilly, 26.
Pennyless demostrators who needed to eat and use local businesses' restrooms signed Antwonette's contract without reading it.
"It clearly says they are indentured to me, for whatever task I deem fit, and are fully transferable," said Antwonette.
Upon hiring, the employees have been used as office interns, janitors, car porters- even counter-protesters.
"I came down here to protest Citibank, and that sleezebag sold me to them," said Reilly. "Now I have to clean up in front of their building and yell 'Citigroup is Good for America' back at the demonstrators. It's horrible."
In the past week, Antwonette said he has hired 57 protesters with the written contract.
"I tricked 38 more with an iPhone app."
Many have objected to their treatment and how they were "hired."
"I thought I was using a 'Find a toilet in New York' app," said Rick Silverman, 23. "I never read the 'terms of use,' I just agreed. Now I'm this dick's slave?"
Antwonette has tagged all indentured servants, and police has been helping enforce their contractual obligations.
"We can't touch most of these little shits," said Captain Mort Harris of the NYPD, "but if they signed that contract, they have to do their job or get thrown out of the city."
Antwonette plans to buy or deport protestors until the demonstrations are over.
